Blame TSA for bad breath

Posted by T on May 31, 2012
Politics

On my most recent flight back home, as I stood in the security line, I was kicking myself. I had just shelled out $25 to check my suitcase, but forgot to transfer my toiletry kit from the carry-on before checking it. My nice German-made old-fashioned double-edged-razor shaver lay in there, and I was loathe to have it confiscated. To make matters worse, there was a fresh backup double-edged razor, wrapped in wax paper. What to do?

Sure enough, as I got my person through the microwave screen, I was waved over. “This bag belong to you? Come over here.” So I went over. The guy pulls out a tube of toothpaste. “You have three choices. You can go back to the lobby and try to check this, or you can go back to the lobby and use it, or I’ll have to confiscate it.”

I said, “well, I guess the universe will be in the best shape if you take it.”

Then, with dramatic wave of the arms and shoulders, he took the cleansed kit back to pass through the radar again. No problem this time.

Now, with that German shaver and two double-edged razors, I guarantee I could have fabricated a weapon as devastating as the box cutters that the 19 skinny Arab boys used to bring down the twin towers with.

Except… they didn’t. But let’s pretend they did, since that’s what our rulers say. Romans 13 and all.

But don’t incidents like this give the lie to the whole airport security thing? TSA is about fashioning a compliant, nervous population, not catching “terrorists.”  Leftists seeing a title like this no doubt expected a parody of right-wing TSA paranoia. But no, I meant it quite prosaically. At least the rest of that day, I could blame bad breath on the TSA.

The one thing we can’t blame them for is doing a bad job catching terrorists. That, after all, is not their job.

 

1 Comment to Blame TSA for bad breath

  • I get stuff thru all the time. Which kind of makes me even madder. I mean didn’t I want in that ridiculous line so you could catch me?!

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